Depression

by Madison Turner

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

    It's important to me that everyone has access to music regardless of financial status. To download for free, click "Buy Now" and enter "0" as the price. There is no obligation to donate, but if you are able to, donations are always appreciated!

      name your price

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    This release contains both Madison Turner EPs released in 2015, Depression and UGGGHHHHH!. on see-through-Green cassette with case and j-card. Cassettes by Tyler Bisson at Audio Geography Studios.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Depression via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days

      $6 USD or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    This release contains two cassette tapes, including the 2013 full-length "life" on black cassette, and the 2015 EPs "Depression" and "UGGGHHHHH!" on see-through-Green cassette. Cassettes by Tyler Bisson at Audio Geography Studios.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Depression via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days

      $10 USD or more 

     

1.
02:34
2.
3.
01:58
4.
03:55

about

These four songs came from a point in my life when I was suffering heavily from depression. They're not so much about depression as much as they came directly from it.

If you are feeling suicidal, please reach out to someone, whether it's a friend, a family member, a hotline... Please reach out to someone who will listen and who will not be judgemental.

Suicide Hotline Phone Numbers:

Trans Lifeline
(for anyone who is transgender)
US: (877) 565-8860
Canada: (877) 330-6366
www.translifeline.org

The Trevor Project
(for young LGBTQ and questioning folks, ages 13 - 24)
866-488-7386
www.thetrevorproject.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
(for anyone, based out of the United States)
1-800-273-8255
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

credits

released April 13, 2015

All songs and lyrics by Madison Turner.

Madison Turner - Guitar, Vocals, Tambourine
Leo Suarez - Drums
Matt Ostraco - Bass

Recorded (May 2014) and mixed by Matt Ostraco at Epic Problem.

Mastered by Tyler Bisson at Audio Geography Studios.
www.audiogeography.com

Artwork by Marina Berry.
www.facebook.com/marinaberryart

self-released

Special Thanks: Lennox Archer, Alfie Hernández, Shelby Dawson Miller, Woody Bond

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Madison Turner Richmond, Virginia

Somewhere between pop punk and alternative rock and folk, sometimes with a full band and sometimes alone, always loud.

contact / help

Contact Madison Turner

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Track Name: Apologies
I swear I'm trying to turn it around

and I can't face myself much longer
and I wish I could be a little bit stronger than I am
and I face my own fission
and I wade through repition
and I wade through repition
and I wade through repition

and I love the edges of your smile
and I just want to stay here for a while
but the night pushes further on
and I'm trying to stabilize my dear
and I'm sorry for all of the fear I make you hide deep down inside
deep down inside
deep down inside
deep down inside

and I can't take all of these rules
Can't shake off this feeling that I'm being subdued, as silly as it is
and I want to pump myself full with gasoline, yeah, see if it powers me
and I want the energy to see myself carry on,
and I wish I could believe that it exists

and I love the edges of your smile
and I just want to stay here for a while
but the night pushes further on
and I'm trying to stabilize my dear
and I'm sorry for all of the fear I make you hide deep down inside
deep down inside
deep down inside
deep down inside
Track Name: Fluorescent Lightbulbs
I can't take it anymore
I want to drop to the floor
and lay and lay
until my body decays
and I turn into waste
for the worms to make way and

Can't take this shit anymore

The rain pours down with no end in sight
as we wait for sun but there is no light
and the lightning strikes down with ferocious fangs
and the thunder that follows beats eardrums with bangs
and the sun, the sun, the sun
is gone forever
throw back one more shot till I don't feel a thing
to be numb to the world is a wonderful feeling

Can't take this shit anymore

When sights and sounds seem like a blur
and life is like a flourescent lightbulb
it just flickers and flickers till it's gone
it's gone, it's all gone
and though it lit up a room, it was lackluster dim
but fit the minimal requirement while
upholding the industrial complex

the sun, the sun is gone forever
the sun, the sun is gone forever
Track Name: Dead Inside
Give me life, give me death
give me all of the above
what's in health, what's in misery
in fear, pain, and love
Why would I want to fill my cup
when it's destined to spill
red wine stains on the carpet
that we cover up with product

let me out, let me out
I don't think I can handle much longer
and my therapist tells me
that I lack compassion for myself and others
and she's probably right
oh, she's probably right
And that distinct possibility
that I don't give a fuck
is the only thing alive and well in me

We can't see
We can't see
We can't see
that we're dead
on the inside

I can taste
I can taste
I can taste
that I'm dead
on the inside

We all sing
We all sing
We all sing
We're all dead
on the inside

No mercy
No mercy
No mercy
We're all dead
on the inside
Track Name: Depression
I feel like total shit and
It's been going on for way too long
I need some sleep, I wish I could sleep
I don't know how to sleep anymore, no

I don't have any direction
I've been staring at the internet for way too long
Like, I'm not even doing anything
Just staying awake so tomorrow doesn't roll
around so soon

And I'm sick of feeling
as if I don't belong
as if I'll never belong

And you stare at me
like I'm a circus attraction
come one, come all

PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE

And I don't wanna travel (And I don't know why I travel)
a few hours by car
To play a show for cisgender strangers
who misgender me while I'm pouring my heart out
on six almost-in-tune strings

And I can't take one more day of
these fucking constant thoughts
It's just too much
It's fucking overwhelming
Can't fucking turn it off
and
I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick
I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick
To death To death To death To death
of life of life of life of life
what's left what's left what's left what's left
No ability to look ahead
I'm sick
I'm sick
My head
My fucking head

And I'm sick of feeling
as if I don't belong
as if I'll never belong

And I'm sick of being
all negativity
but I can't see any other way to be

And I'm sick of singing
Just like I'm sick of doing
all the other shit that makes me miserable

And I'm sick of breathing
And I'm sick of breathing
And I'm sick of breathing

Why do I breathe anymore
Why don't I just stop breathing
It'd be easier, it seems
To just float along with the breeze
Why don't I dream anymore,
Why don't I dream anymore.