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Depression

by Madison Turner

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  • "Depression/UGGGHHHHH!" Split EP Cassette
    Cassette + Digital Album

    This release contains both Madison Turner EPs released in 2015, Depression and UGGGHHHHH!. on see-through-Green cassette with case and j-card. Cassettes by Tyler Bisson at Audio Geography Studios.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Depression via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
Apologies 02:34
I swear I'm trying to turn it around and I can't face myself much longer and I wish I could be a little bit stronger than I am and I face my own fission and I wade through repition and I wade through repition and I wade through repition and I love the edges of your smile and I just want to stay here for a while but the night pushes further on and I'm trying to stabilize my dear and I'm sorry for all of the fear I make you hide deep down inside deep down inside deep down inside deep down inside and I can't take all of these rules Can't shake off this feeling that I'm being subdued, as silly as it is and I want to pump myself full with gasoline, yeah, see if it powers me and I want the energy to see myself carry on, and I wish I could believe that it exists and I love the edges of your smile and I just want to stay here for a while but the night pushes further on and I'm trying to stabilize my dear and I'm sorry for all of the fear I make you hide deep down inside deep down inside deep down inside deep down inside
2.
I can't take it anymore I want to drop to the floor and lay and lay until my body decays and I turn into waste for the worms to make way and Can't take this shit anymore The rain pours down with no end in sight as we wait for sun but there is no light and the lightning strikes down with ferocious fangs and the thunder that follows beats eardrums with bangs and the sun, the sun, the sun is gone forever throw back one more shot till I don't feel a thing to be numb to the world is a wonderful feeling Can't take this shit anymore When sights and sounds seem like a blur and life is like a flourescent lightbulb it just flickers and flickers till it's gone it's gone, it's all gone and though it lit up a room, it was lackluster dim but fit the minimal requirement while upholding the industrial complex the sun, the sun is gone forever the sun, the sun is gone forever
3.
Dead Inside 01:58
Give me life, give me death give me all of the above what's in health, what's in misery in fear, pain, and love Why would I want to fill my cup when it's destined to spill red wine stains on the carpet that we cover up with product let me out, let me out I don't think I can handle much longer and my therapist tells me that I lack compassion for myself and others and she's probably right oh, she's probably right And that distinct possibility that I don't give a fuck is the only thing alive and well in me We can't see We can't see We can't see that we're dead on the inside I can taste I can taste I can taste that I'm dead on the inside We all sing We all sing We all sing We're all dead on the inside No mercy No mercy No mercy We're all dead on the inside
4.
Depression 03:55
I feel like total shit and It's been going on for way too long I need some sleep, I wish I could sleep I don't know how to sleep anymore, no I don't have any direction I've been staring at the internet for way too long Like, I'm not even doing anything Just staying awake so tomorrow doesn't roll around so soon And I'm sick of feeling as if I don't belong as if I'll never belong And you stare at me like I'm a circus attraction come one, come all PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE And I don't wanna travel (And I don't know why I travel) a few hours by car To play a show for cisgender strangers who misgender me while I'm pouring my heart out on six almost-in-tune strings And I can't take one more day of these fucking constant thoughts It's just too much It's fucking overwhelming Can't fucking turn it off and I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick To death To death To death To death of life of life of life of life what's left what's left what's left what's left No ability to look ahead I'm sick I'm sick My head My fucking head And I'm sick of feeling as if I don't belong as if I'll never belong And I'm sick of being all negativity but I can't see any other way to be And I'm sick of singing Just like I'm sick of doing all the other shit that makes me miserable And I'm sick of breathing And I'm sick of breathing And I'm sick of breathing Why do I breathe anymore Why don't I just stop breathing It'd be easier, it seems To just float along with the breeze Why don't I dream anymore, Why don't I dream anymore.

about

These four songs came from a point in my life when I was suffering heavily from depression. They're not so much about depression as much as they came directly from it.

If you are feeling suicidal, please reach out to someone, whether it's a friend, a family member, a hotline... Please reach out to someone who will listen and who will not be judgemental.

Suicide Hotline Phone Numbers:

Trans Lifeline
(for anyone who is transgender)
US: (877) 565-8860
Canada: (877) 330-6366
www.translifeline.org

The Trevor Project
(for young LGBTQ and questioning folks, ages 13 - 24)
866-488-7386
www.thetrevorproject.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
(for anyone, based out of the United States)
1-800-273-8255
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

credits

released April 13, 2015

All songs and lyrics by Madison Turner.

Madison Turner - Guitar, Vocals, Tambourine
Leo Suarez - Drums
Matt Ostraco - Bass

Recorded (May 2014) and mixed by Matt Ostraco at Epic Problem.

Mastered by Tyler Bisson at Audio Geography Studios.
www.audiogeography.com

Artwork by Marina Berry.
www.facebook.com/marinaberryart

self-released

Special Thanks: Lennox Archer, Alfie Hernández, Shelby Dawson Miller, Woody Bond

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all rights reserved

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about

Madison Turner Richmond, Virginia

Somewhere between pop punk and alternative rock and folk, sometimes with a full band and sometimes alone, always loud.

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