Desperation in a glance, the mirror won't give another chance it just laughs until I'm dead I'm feeling so oblique, so evasive and so weak can't get it out of my head the city must be burnt to the ground and only ashes are to be found Loud and angry like a siren, blaring wildly while I'm trying to cover these ears The silence beats the dissonance, I can't make any fucking sense out of myself the city has to be burnt to the ground and I'm trying to understand the sound I just want to fall asleep I just want to fall asleep forever, forever Do I really want to fall asleep? I don't want to fucking sleep, no With love and understanding we begin to see that this world is filled with possibilities and I'm so happy that these tears stream down my face and I'm so glad that they'll never go away

I've got a problem I'm trapped in my own head All these words are garbled and better off unsaid I just want to feel a little something that's real Is that too much to ask and I just want to see a little piece of me When I look at my own fucking body and I just want to claim the little letters in my name it's my name, it's my name, it's my name, it's my name and I just don't want to pretend anymore

I won't make it another day I refuse to leave the bedroom This is where I'll stay But with a 1 2 3 4 when the sticks click we'll be okay (1 2 3 4) When everyone that surrounds us is full of shit We all think we know the answers but we don't know a fucking thing Just carry on (just carry on) and keep moving and learn and laugh and love and cry and hate and sleep and scream and die and nothing and nothing and nothing and nothing and We're getting closer to the end Just getting closer to the end With every inhale, exhale, whatever Closer to the end We're getting closer to the end Just getting closer to the end But with a 1 2 3 4 when the sticks click we'll be okay (1 2 3 4) I'm getting sick of the world that surrounds me Polution, corruption, the fucking profit margin lobbyists and congressmen are holding hands at make-out point and the cops blame us for the clothes we wear Someone looked at me the other day and laughed right in my face I must be such a sight to be seen and I just stand behind the counter and say nothing what the fuck do I do, what the fuck do I do, well I want to crawl up inside myself and hide from everyone else never see anyone again If someone tries to talk to me I'll hold my fingers in my ears and scream LALALALALALALALA And the children point and stare never taught that I exist Always an afterthought, a fringe person, a who-the-fuck-cares Television thinks I'm a joke I just can't handle this so I Put on an album and let the sound surround me cause When we press play we'll be okay We'll be okay (We'll be okay) when we press play When we press play we'll be okay We'll be okay (We'll be okay) when we press play And with a 1 2 3 4 when the sticks click we're closer to the end to the end to the end to the (1 2 3 4)

Can we see in the dark Can we breathe when the oxygen is gone Can we exist with no ground to manuever Can we decieve without reality all of us Can we live as there are others who are silenced Can we forget the screams we are not close enough to hear Can we achieve a thick security blanket Do we believe that we are not at fault all of us

Give me a guitar and I'll give my best, my worst, my everything my life, my love, my honesty in a flurry of syllables, a symphony of screams, you'll wish you held on to the reciept just a little bit longer but does it matter in the end when we've turned to dust and float away as electric lights and with the air we mend Give me a hug and I'll give my reassurance that everything will be fine even if that is a lie I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die NO NO Give me your time and I'll give you access to my insecurities my deepest fears, my nervous ticks my impulses, my ideology Give me a seed and together we'll plant a new beginning within our little space we'll grow a better place we'll grow a better place we'll grow a better place we'll grow a better place

I was a young girl once but I didn't really get the chance to have a typical experience and sometimes it makes me angry and sometimes it makes me really fucking sad but I'm glad that I've made it here that I've grown into the person that I am and I'm thankful for all that I have Break me down Everything I wished to be is my reality and Everything I thought I was I was right all along a scared, little girl praying to a god she didn't believe in to become a little girl, to become a little girl but I'm glad that I've made it here that I've grown into the person that I am and I'm thankful for all that I have Break me down Everything I hold close Everything I'm told to be All that I know is turned upside-down Everyone I hold too close I'm lonely in my own skin All that I know is turned upside-down (There's no such thing as the typical experience) I was a young girl once... Break me down You could never break me down

When everyone is dead and gone Will the world just keep spinning on? And I won't even have a say And as the world passes me by Nothing to do but get up and try well I've just gotta speak my mind Nothing to do but get up and speak your mind All that exists is the time that passes by These thoughts can be unforgiving but they're all that we have left It's all borderline frustrating but we're gonna do our best, yeah And what we take for granted is a plate of food to eat and a place to lay our heads And all that I really am is the person that I want is the person that I need And when I'm dead and gone and the world moves on without me I'm just glad I tried my best

Why am I scared to death of dying when I'm so fed up with life and I try but it's just damn hard to get by Lately I've been feeling like there's only one direction and it leads straight ahead that same dark-lit road that doesn't waver I just wish it would explode, sometimes and I don't want to do it No I don't want to do it No I don't want to spend my life at work and sleeping until the day I die I just want to stay at home and cuddle up with my pup I want to pick up my guitar and write a song without a chorus I just want a million bucks so that I never have to worry and I just want, want, want I'm so entitled, who gives a fuck about me I don't claim to be the perfect person but I just keep on moving, let's see what's next I'm worn down but I get back up I just move on and on and on and on and on Why am I scared to death of dying when I'm so fed up with life and I try but it's just damn hard

It seems that no matter what I do in this life, people will always judge me for whether they think I'm a boy or a girl. They don't listen to what I say or the music that I play but they look at me as though they don't even know what to do with me it's this constant distraction in which I could do the same thing as a cisgender person but my content is ignored because the surface is continually examined under a microscope and with a gavel and justified with a long list of slurs that belong in a barrel at the bottom of the ocean Well I'm sorry to say, but FUCK YOU I'm gonna keep showing you All that I can, All that I can do and I'm sorry to say, but FUCK YOU And I'm not really sorry too Cause you're a piece of shit and I'm fucking awesome and even though it's difficult to realize that sometimes and even though when realized it can be difficult to overcome I don't have time to be brought down by some ignorant scumbag piece of shit who can only spew transphobic and cissexist bile from their mouth-hole-area instead of injecting information and empathy into their brain-skull-area and don't have any realization that they have this privilege this powerful privilege to make these decisions without any care in the world whether or not someone else's existance is flat-out denied Well I'm sorry to say, but FUCK YOU I'm gonna keep showing you All that I can, All that I can do and I'm sorry to say, but FUCK YOU And I'm not really sorry too Cause some of the shit that you say is just fucking awful like this youtube comment on a music video that I released in this other band years back in which this person says verbatim "Good band. Sucks the singer sucks as both a man and a woman." and it's like 'guess what,' you don't have to like the way I say words because not everyone will and, I mean, this song probably sucks too and who cares, but to say some bigoted shit because your cisgender ass thinks this is an acceptable blow when it very clearly isn't is totally fucked. Or like the time that a former co-worker told me on the internet "Matt, you're not a woman." I mean, that's totally fucked up to think and is even more fucked up to say, and it's not even my legal name anymore anyways, but that doesn't matter, because you don't say that shit to a transgender person. i know you're sitting at your computer with a veil of fucking anonymity and it makes you feel like a powerful cisgender fuck, but you're really just a shitty cisgender fuck. the list of things that shitty people say to me on the internet, behind my back, and to my face goes on and on and on and it's about time for that to fucking change I'm sorry to say, but FUCK YOU I'm gonna keep showing you All that I can, All that I can do and I'm sorry to say, but FUCK YOU and I'm not really sorry too not sorry not sorry not sorry not sorry So I'll just fucking say, FUCK YOU And fuck your attitude Fuck your microscope, fuck your gavel, fuck your slurs, and, uh, fuck you, you know?

We are born young and innocent We just want to soak up all the world around us We want to learn want to laugh, want to feel loved We learn to crawl, learn to move for ourselves We start to grow up We make new friends We learn what it is to adapt We learn to add and to subtract we learn to read, we learn what we should say to make the other kids like us We learn who to make fun of In order not to be made fun of ourselves We learn the right clothes to wear We learn the right emotions to feel and show And then we grow up we get a job we make the money so we can have a place to live and food to eat And we're promoted at that job and we make more money and we fall in love and life is pretty great And we're promoted again and now we've got this life thing figured out we're on the fast track to success And with our new position We've gotta fire employees those fucking under-performers just fucking fire them all And the CEOs that were born into money and born into power or learned greed They fire you "What an under-performer" and sell the business But we all grow old All of the under-performers all of the CEOs And we face ourselves no matter who we are or what we did the curtain closes