1. |
Apologies
02:34
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I swear I'm trying to turn it around
and I can't face myself much longer
and I wish I could be a little bit stronger than I am
and I face my own fission
and I wade through repition
and I wade through repition
and I wade through repition
and I love the edges of your smile
and I just want to stay here for a while
but the night pushes further on
and I'm trying to stabilize my dear
and I'm sorry for all of the fear I make you hide deep down inside
deep down inside
deep down inside
deep down inside
and I can't take all of these rules
Can't shake off this feeling that I'm being subdued, as silly as it is
and I want to pump myself full with gasoline, yeah, see if it powers me
and I want the energy to see myself carry on,
and I wish I could believe that it exists
and I love the edges of your smile
and I just want to stay here for a while
but the night pushes further on
and I'm trying to stabilize my dear
and I'm sorry for all of the fear I make you hide deep down inside
deep down inside
deep down inside
deep down inside
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2. |
Fluorescent Lightbulbs
02:37
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I can't take it anymore
I want to drop to the floor
and lay and lay
until my body decays
and I turn into waste
for the worms to make way and
Can't take this shit anymore
The rain pours down with no end in sight
as we wait for sun but there is no light
and the lightning strikes down with ferocious fangs
and the thunder that follows beats eardrums with bangs
and the sun, the sun, the sun
is gone forever
throw back one more shot till I don't feel a thing
to be numb to the world is a wonderful feeling
Can't take this shit anymore
When sights and sounds seem like a blur
and life is like a flourescent lightbulb
it just flickers and flickers till it's gone
it's gone, it's all gone
and though it lit up a room, it was lackluster dim
but fit the minimal requirement while
upholding the industrial complex
the sun, the sun is gone forever
the sun, the sun is gone forever
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3. |
Dead Inside
01:58
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Give me life, give me death
give me all of the above
what's in health, what's in misery
in fear, pain, and love
Why would I want to fill my cup
when it's destined to spill
red wine stains on the carpet
that we cover up with product
let me out, let me out
I don't think I can handle much longer
and my therapist tells me
that I lack compassion for myself and others
and she's probably right
oh, she's probably right
And that distinct possibility
that I don't give a fuck
is the only thing alive and well in me
We can't see
We can't see
We can't see
that we're dead
on the inside
I can taste
I can taste
I can taste
that I'm dead
on the inside
We all sing
We all sing
We all sing
We're all dead
on the inside
No mercy
No mercy
No mercy
We're all dead
on the inside
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4. |
Depression
03:55
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I feel like total shit and
It's been going on for way too long
I need some sleep, I wish I could sleep
I don't know how to sleep anymore, no
I don't have any direction
I've been staring at the internet for way too long
Like, I'm not even doing anything
Just staying awake so tomorrow doesn't roll
around so soon
And I'm sick of feeling
as if I don't belong
as if I'll never belong
And you stare at me
like I'm a circus attraction
come one, come all
PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE
And I don't wanna travel (And I don't know why I travel)
a few hours by car
To play a show for cisgender strangers
who misgender me while I'm pouring my heart out
on six almost-in-tune strings
And I can't take one more day of
these fucking constant thoughts
It's just too much
It's fucking overwhelming
Can't fucking turn it off
and
I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick
I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick
To death To death To death To death
of life of life of life of life
what's left what's left what's left what's left
No ability to look ahead
I'm sick
I'm sick
My head
My fucking head
And I'm sick of feeling
as if I don't belong
as if I'll never belong
And I'm sick of being
all negativity
but I can't see any other way to be
And I'm sick of singing
Just like I'm sick of doing
all the other shit that makes me miserable
And I'm sick of breathing
And I'm sick of breathing
And I'm sick of breathing
Why do I breathe anymore
Why don't I just stop breathing
It'd be easier, it seems
To just float along with the breeze
Why don't I dream anymore,
Why don't I dream anymore.
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Madison Turner Richmond, Virginia
Somewhere between pop punk and alternative rock and folk, sometimes with a full band and sometimes alone, always loud.
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